Wednesday, March 18, 2009

AIG management are a bunch of douches


You've no doubt heard the news by now that AIG, the failed insurance company that is only being kept afloat through the courtesy of tax dollars (yours and mine), was caught paying more than $165 million in bonuses to the executives who basically put them in the toilet in the first place.

Are they that arrogant or that clueless? I don't care what you promised these people. If you're getting $130 billion in bailout money, you don't pay anybody anything extra. Especially the people who caused you to need to ask for $170 billion in bailout money in the first place!

This is not rocket science people. It's business 101. I do a bad job, I don't get a bonus. I get fired. End of story. But because they're "executives" at a corporation we owe them that money?

I don't think so. But I'll tell you what. I'll help you out with a little more cash. Here's a quarter. Buy a clue. AIG management -- you suck.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Armpit of Creativity: Political Cartoonists

I have been an avid reader of newspapers for 25 years now. I enjoy most sections of the paper -- local/national news, business, sports, etc.

The one thing I can't stand are political cartoons. Having seen literally thousands of them, I can't remember one that was creative, witty or funny. It's like reading a Cathy comic strip, or watching Family Matters.

You would think that it wouldn't be too hard for a professional to introduce some wit into one single cell comic, just once, but the task just seems impossible.

You've probably heard of the recent NY Post political cartoon, in which the artist depicted a gorilla getting shot by a cop, and his partner saying, "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill." This "insightful" cartoon was supposed to depict the shooting of a chimpanzee in Connecticut that had attacked a friend of it's owner. But this artist's great, creative mind somehow linked this to the latest stimulus bill President Obama fought to get passed. To me it's pure racism.

I'm not sure if the artist was fired for the insensitive piece, but if (s)he wasn't, the person should be. And, if they don't do it for racism, how about just plain stupidity. How is that statement in the least bit funny, or even thought provoking? It's not, it's just some moron who has to push out a comic a day and has no bright ideas. I can already see Monday morning's political cartoon in my local paper: Bernie Madoff strung up by his balls, with the single word, "Justice" in the foreground. Oh wait, that would never fly, it actually does have a touch of humor in it.

I think this lack of creativity and humor is an industry-wide problem. They need to take every political cartoonist at every paper in the country and get rid of them. They just take up space with useless drivel, in a medium that continues to lose space for real news while ad dollars dwindle. Perhaps it's the politcal cartoonist that is leading to the demise of the daily newspaper? It's worth a shot trying to find out. Let's get rid of these ass clowns and see if subscriptions start to increase again.

RoadRage

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I Hate Your Music...Turn it Down, You Prick

Have you heard about that concert tour called "Music as a Weapon"? I was listening to some Irish music today, getting an early start on St. Patrick's Day, and it reminded me of when I literally used music as a weapon when I was in college back in the early 90s.

I lived next to a complete self-centered jackass, who thought it was perfectly fine to blast rap music until 3:00 in the morning, or later. And, the weekends were even worse.

One day, I finally got tired of it. I had to wake up for class at 7:00 a.m., and on my way out, I decided to put my "Best of Irish Drinking Music" CD in my "boombox" and turn it toward the wall of my neighbor, full blast (there was no neighbor on the other side, so I wasn't being inconsiderate to anyone else). I figured what's good for the goose is good for the gander (that's right, a 30-something-old guy can pull out sayings an octogenarian would say).

Apparently, doofus couldn't handle my Irish music, so he reported me to the landlord, who called me down for a good talking to when I came home that day. That's when RoadRage uncharacteristically became enraged. I laid in to the landlord, telling him that I had complained about my neighbor's loud music at least three times that year, and nothing had ever been done, and I promised him that my Irish music would play full blast every day from 8:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. until the situation was resolved.

My landlord then called my neighbor to fill him in on our new arrangement, telling him the next time he ignored the apartment rules that he would be evicted. So, by using Music as a Weapon, I was able to resolve my issue without using my fists.

But, that's only one example of using my poor taste in music to resolve conflict.

After graduation, my buddy and I headed to Atlanta to watch the lowly Cubs play the Hotlanta Braves in a meaningless August two-game series. On our way out of the stadium on Rte. 75, traffic was at a standstill. The car next to us was blaring their music with their windows open, so everybody could enjoy their fine tunes (once again, it was rap music).

Now, the buddy I was with was the strongest guy I ever knew, and he was getting rather incensed at the inconsideration of our neighboring car. He was leaning out of the car (biceps flaring) ready to put them in their place.

Wanting to avoid a confrontation, I told my friend to hold on a second, and that I would handle it. So, I started to blare my own music -- a song I was sure would generate either annoyance or laughter in the car next to us -- Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel.

Once the car next to us heard us jamming, they looked over, and I started headbanging to the beat. As I suspected, instead of getting angry the guys next to us were dying laughing, and turned down their own music.

People who listen to their music with no consideration for people around them suck, but take it from RoadRage...don't use violence, just annoy the hell out of them.

RoadRage