As Smails prepares his diatribe against Congress and the Republicans for failing to pass the Bailout bill, I'll turn my attention to more important things -- like why the hell can't I get foil-wrapped Hostess Ding Dongs in the Midwest?I can't remember when they started putting Ding Dongs in plastic wrap instead of aluminum foil, but it was a sad day indeed.
What I recall more clearly was the day I found out they still sold them in aluminum foil in certain areas of the country. I was in Las Vegas working a trade show and one of my colleagues went out to pick up some snacks for the staff.
She asked me if I wanted a Ding Dong, and being a fan of any food that will make me die a little sooner, I said sure. Then she handed it to me in the beautiful aluminum foil wrap (aaaahhhh .... good times). I yelled out, "Holy shit! Where'd you get these?!" Her response, "What the hell's the matter with you? You're acting like a four-year-old!"
I told her she didn't understand ... that I hadn't seen a foil-wrapped Ding Dong since I was a kid, and that I could only get the plastic wrap snacks in the Midwest, which somehow takes away from the taste.
She told me that I was a moron, but then right after that exchange, another colleague of mine came in and had the exact same reaction I did.
I'm not sure why foil-wrapped Ding Dongs taste better, they just do. It could be because it reminds me of my childhood -- when my only cares in the world were if the Cubs won and whether I would wake up early enough on Saturday to watch my favorite cartoons, and I didn't have to worry about paying more than $3,200 in taxes to bail out rich bastards who screwed over the country with their greed. Or, it could just be that plastic wrap makes food taste like crap. Who knows, six in one hand, half a dozen in the other.
Bottom line -- I think we need to start a new web site to gather signatures to encourage Hostess to start selling foil-wrapped Ding Dongs nationwide, so I (and others I'm sure) can to stop toting them back with me from San Francisco. Then we can turn our attention to the dairy farmers, who punish us by not selling Egg Nog year round (more on that around Christmas.)
RoadRage
