Monday, September 29, 2008

Give Me Foil-Wrapped Ding Dongs or Give Me Death!

As Smails prepares his diatribe against Congress and the Republicans for failing to pass the Bailout bill, I'll turn my attention to more important things -- like why the hell can't I get foil-wrapped Hostess Ding Dongs in the Midwest?

I can't remember when they started putting Ding Dongs in plastic wrap instead of aluminum foil, but it was a sad day indeed.

What I recall more clearly was the day I found out they still sold them in aluminum foil in certain areas of the country. I was in Las Vegas working a trade show and one of my colleagues went out to pick up some snacks for the staff.

She asked me if I wanted a Ding Dong, and being a fan of any food that will make me die a little sooner, I said sure. Then she handed it to me in the beautiful aluminum foil wrap (aaaahhhh .... good times). I yelled out, "Holy shit! Where'd you get these?!" Her response, "What the hell's the matter with you? You're acting like a four-year-old!"

I told her she didn't understand ... that I hadn't seen a foil-wrapped Ding Dong since I was a kid, and that I could only get the plastic wrap snacks in the Midwest, which somehow takes away from the taste.

She told me that I was a moron, but then right after that exchange, another colleague of mine came in and had the exact same reaction I did.

I'm not sure why foil-wrapped Ding Dongs taste better, they just do. It could be because it reminds me of my childhood -- when my only cares in the world were if the Cubs won and whether I would wake up early enough on Saturday to watch my favorite cartoons, and I didn't have to worry about paying more than $3,200 in taxes to bail out rich bastards who screwed over the country with their greed. Or, it could just be that plastic wrap makes food taste like crap. Who knows, six in one hand, half a dozen in the other.

Bottom line -- I think we need to start a new web site to gather signatures to encourage Hostess to start selling foil-wrapped Ding Dongs nationwide, so I (and others I'm sure) can to stop toting them back with me from San Francisco. Then we can turn our attention to the dairy farmers, who punish us by not selling Egg Nog year round (more on that around Christmas.)

RoadRage

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are the best blogger in the world !!!

Marie said...

start a FBook group

Anonymous said...

Fool!!!(about the eggnog)but while you're at it bring up the fact they don't have Pumpkin Spice creamer year round either.

I'll sign that petition!!!!

travthulufx@hotmail.com said...

Ok, I'm from Illinois, I moved to Burbank CA a few years back and within the first month we were living there my wife sent me a picture of a pile of foil wrapped ding dongs, I was fucking exstatic. We live in Southern California for a little over a year and then we moved to Pittsburgh PA. Fucking Hostess pulls a fast one on me by making me think they were using foil again, but oh no, there in Pittsburgh those shits were wrapping ding dongs in god damned plastic pilowbags. Yes they do taste different, I believe it's the gasses they inject into the packaging to freshness, bulshit. Anyway, I get on the Hosttess website and write them a letter asking them if maybe the different climate form one coast to another would have anything to do with the change in packaging, and I asked them if there was any way I could order the foil wrapped ones.

I got a fucking form letter in response thanking me for being a customer along with a coupon. Needless to say I'm pissed, I'm a fat kid from way back and I can appreciate snack foods with the best of them. I was planning on getting tattoos of the different Hostess icons (twinky the kid, King Ding Dong and so on) but now I just don't know.

Little Debbie wouldn't do this to me.

If you plan on starting a website I'll back you 1000%, email me
travthulufx@hotmail.com

Judy Judy Judy said...

OH MY GOSH THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS! My friend and I were having the foil-wrapped Ding Dong discussion, so I googled to find out what happened to the foil . . . and there you were like a ray of sunshine. You took the words right out of our mouths . . . and added a few more. And travthulufx's comment about "Little Debbie wouldn't do this to me" was pure genius!!!!

Anonymous said...

hahaha!
i was totally trying to explain to my daughter we got them in foil ---- thanks for your FUN COMMENTARY!
: )
sad but true!

Brenna said...

Well, I just got screamed at by the S.O. about the foil wrapped Ding Dong thing and, voila, here I am. He swears that the latest "Weeds" episode had a 'FWDD.' I wasn't entirely convinced, even with the benefits of TiVo, hence the argument.

Thank you for your remarks, I have been on a tirade about this for years (along with the equally perplexing non-foiled Hershey Bars, but that's for another day). Hell, I've been a vegan for years so such things are no longer part of my life. Yet, still it simply seems wrong for those beautifully smooth foil wrapped days to be at an end.

Anonymous said...

i thought i was crazy for thinking the foil wrapped were better in my childhood, thanks for keeping me sane...i can't believe they're still around, maybe i'll find one :)

Anonymous said...

Amen!

Anonymous said...

I remeber that day .. It was a Monday.. Came home for lunch.. after eating ..I wanted to top it off with My Fav.. I opend the box and my life was changed forever.. what was this.. what are these.. it was a mistake.. these are Ho Hos ..That have been stuffed in my box.. My first bite confirmed that it was over.. Please.. please bring the FWDD back to us.. I would support your website as well.. I want my children to know what its like to open and eat a FWDD.. life was good back then.. when I opend a full box.. It was special.. to see all the smooth wrapped shining treats..why..why.. take somthing so perfect and ruin it..my life has never been the same.. no telling what I might have become if they would have just left my ding dong alone..
Thanx for the great blog..

sad & waiting..

Anonymous said...

I tried to sneak a box of the foil wrapped Ding Dongs from Colorado to South Texas in my luggage and the security folks at the airport smashed each and every one of them to make sure nothing was inside of them. I couldn't believe my eyes when I opened that suitcase!

TerriRainer said...

I was just expounding the virtues of foil-wrapped Ding Dongs to my kids and tried googling for a picture (unfortunately NO picture though). I came up with your blog post instead, and I feel your pain!

We are denying such pleasures to the next generation. Not that they would appreciate such simple joys as foil-wrapped Ding Dongs, since it has NOTHING to do with electronics.

Thanks for the wonderful post! :)

Anonymous said...

I completely agree. Bring back the FWDD, along with foil-wrapped Hershey's and Nestle Crunch bars. The foil DOES make them taste better… anything wrapped in plastic tastes like poo. Recently I was explaining to my daughter how great Ding Dongs used to be. They were always my favorite snack as a kid, and now they're just okay. Is the west coast the only place the good ones are sold? We recently moved from Indiana to eastern Pennsylvania. Does anyone know if they're available here or in New Jersey or NYC?

Anonymous said...

I live in Southern CA. I just bought a box of Ding Dongs to satisfy a chocolate mini cake craving... and lo and behold! I open the box, and pretty foil covered hockey pucks emerge! They are the best tasting snack cakes. I'm used to the plastic wrapped twinkies and hoho's... but this... ooh, so good! I guess it's one of the good things about living in SoCal.

Anonymous said...

they are so good, where do you buy them though? web site address...mail order?

Tawk said...

Pinch me! I think I've died and gone to Ding Dong Heaven. Earlier this evening, I was lamenting to my grown daughter about the sucky decision of Hostess to switch to that mylar wrapping. I commented to my wife, who is true fan of "The Closer," that every time "Brenda" reaches into her desk drawer for a Ding Dong, it's wrapped in FOIL !!! Where, oh, where are my foil-wrapped Ding Dongs??? Opening a carton and finding those inside would give new meaning to "Foiled again!!!" Bravo to your blog!

Anonymous said...

I called Hostess about the FWDD a long time ago when I found out they were being made. I ate them as a kid, they were my favorite snack food. Best when cold. When I saw Brenda on The Closer eat one. I started my search.

Hostess told me that only a couple of companies out west were making these and that I was not allowed to know the name of the companies nor to whom they were distributing. I was told they were only for a select market. After that, I really didn't want one that bad anymore.

Not long after that I heard Hostess went bankrupt. I have lost my desire to get a FWDD. I no longer purchase Hostess products.

lavachickie said...

Hostess as a company is going through bankruptcy, in an attempt to reorganize and continue business. Hostess products remain on the shelves.

http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2012/07/26/hostess-twinkies-bankrupt/

We hadn't had Ding Dongs in a long time -- I too thought the plastic wrapped ones sucked. I figured they'd changed the recipe and taken out all the stuff that actually makes them taste good (sugar, salt, etc.). But I picked some up on a fluke at a Safeway in Salem, OR and... TADA! They were wrapped in foil and they are FANTASTIC. Whew! Keep it up, Hostess!

Anonymous said...

The foil wrapped Hostess Ding Dong is a true icon. When Brenda 1st pulled out that foil wrapped puck from her desk drawer, all of us (with a little age) knew she had a DING DONG!! We want our foil wrapped Ding Dong, too! It's just not right!

Karmann Roche said...

I just saw that ding dongs were back in stores and I had to buy a box. I just now got home and opened it up in disappointment because I saw white plastic. I had to google it!

Mitch Einhorn said...

This is a Ding Dong disaster and a Ho Ho travesty; I was just sharing my childhood memories of Ho Ho’s when much to my chagrin my wife said they are not wrapped in foil anymore.

I was extolling my childhood delight in the foil un-robing, the visual anticipation, and the final technique of slowly nibbling the Ho Ho like it was an ear of corn until there was just a creamy center left as the final scrumptious treat.

Why will I never get to share this precious moment with my daughters?

We should rise up and demand satisfaction; we can storm the shores of their Snack Cake castle and return the Ding Dong and Ho Ho to their former foil wrapped glory, Lords of the Snack Cake world.

Who’s with me?