Tuesday, September 23, 2008

And the Mr. Oblivious Award for 2008 Goes To...

Even with late heroics from Lance Berkman to pick up this year's coveted Mr. Oblivious Award, ladies and gentleman, members of the Oblivious Dufuses Society of America, my fellow bloggers, this year's award goes to...... Roger Clemens!

What a year Clemens had, from lying under oath about his use of steroids before a Congressional committee, to his past mistresses coming out of his little closet of horrors —I’m surprised he didn’t try to bang Mattingly’s ex—The Rocket has landed with an at-the-wire showing that he is truly Mr. Oblivious.

As the New York Yankees celebrated the demise of The House That Ruth Built, Clemens not only was not invited to the festivities, but he watched in absolute awe as he was not event shown in the video compilation as one of the best pitchers to don the Yankee pinstripes.

To me, this is not what makes him oblivious. What makes him oblivious is the story he had his family leak to the press about how heartbroken he was, painting a picture of Roger sitting there on his couch in his solid gold house, watching the ceremonies on a battery-operated TV, with his mom holding one hand and his offseason wife, Debbie, holding the other.

Are you friggin’ kidding me?

You sleight not only your reputation in the game, but the reputation of the most storied—and hated—franchises in the history of the game and you are surprised that your roided-up self is not shown in the same frames with Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle and even that dickhead Joe DiMaggio?

How the mighty have fallen. Or better yet, how sad is it to see the actual man behind the uniform and cheating ways.

So, to you, Roger Clemens, we present this year’s Mr. Oblivious Award. Take it and shove it in your keyster.

The man is a menace!

Judge Elihu Smails

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Roger Clemens should have been included ... Mickey, Roger Maris and every other guy on the team in the early to late 60s took amphetamines to get up for the games, as you read in Ball Four. Clemens did the same thing -- used an illegal drug to enhance his abilities, so why aren't you ragging on them, you left-winged, Commie. Go back to Massachussets, pinko!

Judge Smails said...

That's Taxachusetts. Taxachusetts.