Use your inside voice

It had been a beautiful Saturday. Mrs. Ty Cobb and I had spent a lovely afternoon at the Brookfield Zoo, looking at various odd animals and learning stuff. Hey, did you know the rainforest is endangered, as are many species of animals you've never heard of (and are quite ugly, to be honest)? I never knew that. But I do now. Thanks, Brookfield Zoo.

Anyway, after our trip to the zoo we decided to get a little something to eat. After debating various cuisines we decided to head to Eduardo's Pizza in Wheeling for some stuffed pizza. We arrived quite hungry, and were led to our booth in the back corner.

It was a tight fit (mostly due to the fact that the guy behind me had pushed the seats on his side way back from the table which pushed mine quite close -- a fact I didn't discover until dinner was over). Service was a little slow since we were kind of hidden away, but we were in no hurry so it was no big deal.

That's when it happened. We discovered we'd been seated right next to the Loud family. Or should I say the LOUD family. It started with one of their brats. The kid was squealing, wailing, and whining in a very loud voice, which didn't seem to faze any of the 12 other people sitting in their group. I wanted to stuff a leftover crust in the kid's mouth, but decided to try and be civil. Then came the deal breaker. Grandma (I assume it was Grandma) starts talking and she's at least as loud as the little brat. On top of which her voice was most unpleasant, to say the least.

It was so bad that Mrs. Cobb asked if ol' Ty wanted to move. I thought about it for a minute, and looked on their table. It appeared they'd finished eating, so I figured it wouldn't be too much longer before they left. so we hung in there. All the time, though, wishing these people came with a volume control.

You may think you're interesting and a brilliant conversationalist, but I've got news for you. Most people are not. These people certainly weren't. When you're in a busy restaurant surrounded by other patrons, don't shout or yell. Use your inside voice. If you don't have an inside voice then just shut the hell up until you leave. And keep a lid on your brats. You may think they're special, but they're not. They're just annoying.