Hurricane's Here ... Better Rip Everyone Off

Why is this the perfect picture whenever I talk about the gas and oil industry?

The scumbags are at it again ... since Thursday this past week, gas prices in northern Illinois have increased 50 cents a gallon -- from $3.76 to $4.25 (ok ... I'm exaggerating, it's only 49 cents).

Meanwhile, the latest from the NYSE is that the cost of oil has dipped to under $100/barrel. The cost for the lowest grade of regular unleaded gasoline at the station closest to my house started going up Friday afternoon -- a forty cent jump, then ten more cents between Saturday and Sunday. It's higher now than it was at the peak of summer, when oil was selling for more than $147/barrel. I guess this is when we'll start hearing industry pundits saying that the cost of a barrel of oil has nothing to do with the cost of a gallon of gasoline -- again. They keep flip-flopping their stance based on the cost of oil.

When the gas stations jacked up rates after 9-11 and Hurricane Katrina, there were investigations and fines levied against those gas stations that unfairly increased prices, and I hope that the same happens this time around.

In the meantime, if you can hold out, wait to buy gas until Thursday when prices will be forced to come back down, due to the usual legal and political pressures put on the oil industry when they try to take advantage of a natural disaster.

Bastards!

RoadRage

We're Being Invaded! By Mexico?

When did our country go so bad that Mexico would think about invading us? Well, if I carry the two, it looks like somewhere around November 2000, but that is up for debate. Talk amongst yourselves.

For tonight, we have breaking news, people. Mexico has invaded the United States! I wish I was shitting you right now, but I am not. Didn't we secure "The Homeland" after 9/11? Guess not.

Earlier today, the Mexico Army came across the border and--get this shit--arrested one of our border patrol troops. What, did Bluto Blutowski become president of Mexico (It would make sense, considering we have our own underdeveloped frat boy protecting our borders.) when I was sleeping? According to sources close to the U.S. border patrol, instances like this happen all the time, but our government turns a deaf ear to it. What the hell?

So you're telling me that while we are pulling our weiners out of an illegal invasion of a sovereign nation which has cost our country and our next of kin trillions of dollars, the Mexico Army can just walk across the border and hold one of our border patrol agents at gunpoint?

As with any colossal fuck up under the blind guise of this administration, we will ignore it, because we have other worries on our minds, like not being able to afford gas to get to work, exploding grocery prices to feed our families and our homes being taken away from us because of the mortgage crisis. And for those who aren't impacted by this crisis, you have the PR-driven press conference of President Chump telling China how to treat its people, which is tantamount to Ike Turner giving a course on domestic violence prevention.

Great job, Republicans. You've done it again!

Judge Elihu Smails