Stow that finger, asshole

While this would seem more to be in RoadRage's area of expertise, I have to share a morning commute story.

I was driving down Route 45 in Mundelein, following the usual lollygagging morons, so I decided to change lanes. I checked my mirrors and checked my blind spot, and all was clear so I turned on my directional and started moving over. As I did, some guy in a Saturn Outlook put the pedal to the metal to try and prevent me from coming into his lane. I remember thinking "WTF?" as I saw him speed up on me. I looked into the rear view mirror to see if I was about to get rear ended, and the guy actually flipped me off (that's oldspeak for flicked me off, for you youngsters).

I couldn't believe it! First of all, the guy was nowhere near when I started, so if anyone was at fault it was him. I didn't cut him off; he came up on me. More importantly though, any guy driving A) a Saturn and B) one of those vehicles that can't decide whether it's a car, a minivan, or an SUV needs to rethink the use of his middle finger. Generally speaking, any guy driving a car like that is probably a pussy. I'm not the toughest guy in the world, but I ain't small. From the looks of him, I probably could've extricated him from his car through the driver side window, helping him relive the birth experience, before causing him to soil his pants.

Dude, you were in the wrong. Don't compound your troubles by taking on battles you can't win. Take a chill pill and give thanks for all you have. It's only a traffic lane, after all. You suck. You're just lucky I don't.