No, You Have a Magical Frickin' Day!

Aluh-kazoola, zippity-doola, bippity-boppity-boo! Put 'em together and what do you got? Hell on earth!

Orlando and Disney, aka the "Happiest Place on Earth," is not the right place for a person of RoadRage's disposition. I just returned to my stomping grounds and couldn't be happier.

I had a quick trip to Orlando for a conference I was attending. It was held at a resort on Disney's property, and the moment I stepped off the plane my trip sucked.

It took me an hour to get my luggage and find my transportation to the conference.

First, I was thinking of taking a cab -- but that would have cost me $70. Next option: the Magical Disney Express -- a free bus ride from the airport to Disney. Great! Except you have a two-and-a-half hour wait to get on one. So, I go with the last-ditch option -- the $20 shuttle. The shuttle was fine, but of course, my hotel is the last one on the route -- five stops before hand meant I reached my final stop 2.5 hours after my flight arrived. Good times!

After that, I had to go do some work, and when I came back to my room, I thought I would try to do some more. But, no such luck -- the resort had no wireless access. That makes sense...Epcot Center, home of Future World, is on the same grounds as a resort stuck in 2002.

Then to end the night, I wanted to order a late dinner. I called down to room service at 8:50 and was on hold until 9:10.

Zippidy-doo-dah, zippity yay! How I love wasting my en-tire day!

The next day was filled with work, so Disney couldn't make my day suck -- that is until dinner.

I tried finding a good place to eat, so I did what most hotel guests do -- I went to the concierge. I asked for a good place to eat and was promptly told that everything was booked if I didn't have a reservation. Thanks for the help, chief. Much appreciated. Glad you know how to do your job.

I took a magical 45-minute bus ride to Downtown Disney and found a place with ample seating, and finally had a good time at Disney.

So, of the 48 hours I had at Disney, I had one hour of good times. Thanks for the magical week Disney -- you suck!

RoadRage