But There'll Be No Bananas (Ice Cream) Today...

About three years ago, Blue Bunny came out with a limited edition banana pudding ice cream. Next to eggnog ice cream, it was the best I ever had.

It was a glorious two months when I enjoyed Blue Bunny's perfect mix of banana ice cream, vanilla wafers and a swirl of vanilla cream...but its availability was all too brief.

Since then, I have stopped in the ice cream aisle at various grocery stores, taking a slow walk down the ice cream aisle to hopefully find another banana ice cream that is bland enough for a man of RoadRage's exquisite tastes. Ben & Jerry's makes Chunky Monkey, but it has walnuts, so that won't work, and every other ice cream vendor makes a banana split variety, but they mix in chocolate, strawberry, banana and pineapple together -- not a taste treat for RoadRage. Breyer's used to make a very good chocolate chunk-banana ice cream, and recently came out with a limited edition banana cream pie ice cream that was out of this world.

As soon as they put the banana cream pie ice cream out on the shelves, customers would pick it up, and I was lucky to find the two half gallons I did get to buy when it was available. It was a very popular flavor, but it, too, was gone way too soon.

My question is: why can't any of the dozens of ice cream vendors sell at least one good banana ice cream? There is limited space in the freezer case for ice cream, and instead of filling it with various flavors, like banana, they cram them with 18 fucking varieties of vanilla. Breyer's alone makes the following:

- Creamy Vanilla
- French Vanilla
- Natural Vanilla
- Vanilla, Chocolate Strawberry
- Extra creamy vanilla (what the fuck?!)
- Vanilla-Chocolate
- Lactose-free vanilla
- Homemade Vanilla
- Vanilla Caramel
- Vanilla Bean
- And, of course, Vanilla

The other brands have a lot of the same vanilla flavors, but Edy's (or Dreyer's) also added Double Vanilla to the line up -- ooohhh, exciting! Let's see some creativity here. It's like Forrest Gump and Bubba got together to run the entire ice cream business and when they were asked for flavor ideas they rattled off every kind of vanilla that came to mind.

I'm hopeful that at least one ice cream company will release a banana-flavored ice cream in the coming months, but I'm guessing before that happens, that I'll see Triple Vanilla in my grocer's freezer section.

Ice cream execs you not only suck, but you are a bunch of uncreative dumb asses -- except for Ben & Jerry's -- they get kudos for that new Boston Cream Pie -- it's fantastic! Everyone should go get some tonight.

RoadRage