When I was a young RoadRage, I had a few simple pleasures. I'd play baseball in the summer, drink eggnog at Christmas and eat my foil-wrapped Ding Dongs whenever I could get my hands on one.Coming from a family of ten kids, I rarely had the opportunity to go to restaurants, but when I did, my favorite place to go was the International House of Pancakes.
As far as I knew, IHOP was the only place I could go where the blueberry pancakes were made with the blueberries on top of the pancakes and cooked inside as well. Borrowing from Dairy Queen, they were Scrum-diddily-umptious!!
IHOP remained my restaurant of choice well into my teenage years, but then ... things changed. Instead of using high quality ingredients, the chain decided to work on the cheap; changing to cheaper ingredients, reducing the portions of the food they served, and gone were the blueberries inside the pancakes.
And worse than that, the attentive staff that used to greet you and cater to your every need didn't seem to care whether you ever ate there again.
Case in point, a few years ago, I went to the IHOP in Niles, IL, and ordered strawberry crepes. When I bit into them, the strawberries were still frozen. I complained about it to the manager, who tried to tell me that they were supposed to be frozen. What!? This is the manager of the restaurant who had no idea how pancakes or crepes were supposed to be made. I told him I wanted them taken off the bill, and he refused. So, I was done with IHOP for a long time. Why would I go back to a restaurant that didn't give a shit about its customers?
Fast forward to Christmas 2009 (yeah, I'm a little behind). IHOP introduced new eggnog pancakes. Ahhh...they were matching two of my favorite foods together, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Unfortunately, IHOP hadn't changed their ways.
On the commercial, there was a huge dollop of eggnog cream in the middle of two thick, fluffy pancakes -- a tempting sight for anyone. But the reality was much different. As the waitress made her way to my table with my order, I could see two skimpy pancakes, with nothing in the middle, and I thought there had to be a mistake. She arrived, I lifted the top pancake to find a layer of eggnog cream that looked like it was lightly spread on with a butter knife. I smelt the cakes, and there was definitely a hint of eggnog, so I figured it was the right order -- they were just skimping, as usual. So, I asked the waitress to bring out some extra cream on the side. It helped, but they were still crap.
As I was leaving IHOP, for what I'm guessing will be the last time, I noticed a sign that said that Patsy the Clown was appearing there every Wednesday night from 6-8.
And, there in lies the problem. Rather than relying on quality customer service and serving great-tasting food, IHOP has decided to adopt cheap gimmicks to try to attract customers. From employing dumb ass clowns, that probably are entertaining for anyone ages 3-4 1/2, to offering $2 kids meals for free, they've forgotten why people enjoyed going to IHOP in the first place.
So, IHOP, stop clowning around and get back to the basics -- start focusing on what made you great in the first place and stop being the cheap bastards you have turned into. Until then, it's Walker Brothers for me.
RoadRage
2 comments:
I haven't been to IHOP for years for the same reasons. And you forgot dirty restaurants too.
They once were something great. Wish they'd get a CEO who understood the chain and would make it what it once was -- a destination you looked forward to.
I have a client that I visit every couple of months in St. Louis, and there's an iHop across the street from my hotel. Like Road Rage, I was was once enamored with promises of towering stacks of fluffy 'cakes, syrup buffets and never-empty coffee towers. I even broke down and ordered a "rooty tooty fresh & fruity" once. Soul-stealing bastards. After years of turning my back on the blue-shingled breakfast shangri-las, however, I got up early and gave it one more try. First of all, they've narrowed the booths to get more people seated. Given the heavy-carb menu (and being a biggish lad myself), I thought it was an incredibly bad corporate decision. CEO must have worked in the airline industry before. Anyway I consumed my dull shortstack and griddled-to-death eggs and turkey bacon, which is TWICE the price of regular bacon. All served with the familiar take-this-plate-and-shove-it attitude so eloquently described earlier. Suffice to say that THIS clown won't be appearing again any time soon. I thank my Southern stars for Waffle House every weekend.
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