Has to try to breathe it! New rule for guys: If you are in a public john melting a urinal cake with your wee-stream, cork up your ass or reserve your fecal orchestrations for the stall or some sensible crap-dusting in the open air.
I don’t know about most guys out there, but when you’ve been holding back the golden sprinkle for a while and are finally in Relief Land, you want to let out a sigh, which is typically followed by oxygen intake. When Nuclear Ned is next to you airing out his bowels and polluting the air with his own poop cloud, you're stuck. If it’s an air horn providing advanced notice that the nuclear winter his heading your way, you have one last chance to turn the other cheek and draw in some air like a snorkeler before a reef dive. But if he’s a hisser and you don’t notice it until you breathe in, your choked off, coughing back someone’s spent meal.
So, passy-gassies, if you can’t control your sphincter during your liquid release, hit the stalls. While you’re in there, be sure to mind your gate though. You never know when your neighbor is a Republican Senator.
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