Thanks, Ped Egg

Late night infomercials are supposed to make us feel less than adequate about our financial status, the size of our penis and the fact that we can't score hot chicks on the phone without calling some 1-900 number.

Well, thanks to the pricks who invented the Ped Egg, Judge Smails has gone from showing his engorged penis and inflated bank book to some call center chick in India calling herself the sexy Ramona from Los Angeles to never wanting grated cheese again.

For those of you who don't know about it, the Ped Egg is the latest craze sweeping the nation. It's an egg-shaped, hand-held device with a tiny cheese grater on it for people with icky feet to scrape away all that unwanted skin. It's mobility means tootsie shavers can do this anywhere, at any time, including in front of YOU.

The image used with this blog posting demonstrates just that. These women shouldn't be shaving their feet in front of each other. They should be fulfilling the fantasies of every man--making us sandwiches and bringing us beer.

The commercial for this product even encourages people to perform this act in all areas of the house. Forever burned in my brain is the image of the dude in his button-up shirt and slacks, whittling down his bunions on his sofa, with his chick right there; she smiling.

Making matters worse, as if we didn't know what the Soylent Green shavings would look like, they empty out the Ped Egg for us to see the grated person left behind.

So, thanks to the nimrods at TeleBrands, purveyors of the Ped Egg, Judge Smails can no longer stomach grated parmesan cheese.

What's next? The marketing think tank at Taco Bell coming up with the Dirty Diaper Bean Burrito, where you undo the taped edges to reveal the beany goodness?

Get bent, TeleBrands and your minions of hoof scrapers!