As I watch the Chicago Cubs - Milwaukee Brewers game tonight, I am reminded of one of the Cheese State's news makers this past weekend.Upstanding citizen Keith Walendowski was trying to mow his lawn, but the damn thing just wouldn't cooperate. So, Keith did what any man's man would do...he pulled out his shot gun and opened fire. That'll learn that mower...that'll learn it but good.
Who does that mower think he is? He's asked to work one hour every two weeks, but he just sits there like a lazy ass, working on his tan, oblivious to the fact that Keith's grass was getting pretty high. Keith just couldn't take his mower's insubordination any more, and had to make him pay.
Now, Keith is facing the possibility of a $11,000 fine and a six-and-a-half year prison sentence for murdering his lawn mower. But Keith has a great defense ... on top of being totally wasted at the time, he also reasons that it's his property and he can shoot any household appliance he deems as surly.
I just fear for Keith's life if he's thrown in jail. I've heard what has happened to people who have done what he has. Every green thumb in the place will be trying to kill him in his sleep -- and don't even think about taking a shower (not that he would -- check out his picture on the link). I just pray that for Keith's sake that he's thrown in a minimum-security prison, where he's sentenced to mowing the grounds until 2014. That'll learn Keith ... that'll learn him but good.
RoadRage
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