Heeeyyyy! Why Can't You Come Through in the Clutch, Fonz?!

Why does Chicago Cubs announcer Len Kasper refer to Alfonso Soriano as Fonzi? His name may sound similar, but he definitely doesn't deserve the moniker.

I grew up watching Fonzi, aka Arthur Fonzarelli, on the TV series Happy Days. And the reason he was so "cool" was that he always came through at the most crucial time. In fact, the line, "Way to come through in the clutch, Fonz!" was used too many times to count during the series 11-year run.

Fonzi routinely saved his compadres from a beating from a group of hoodlums, worked to restore order when people wanted to rumble with his mere presence, and always had wise, sage advice for Mr. C and the older generation. You could always count on the Fonz.

That's just not the case with Soriano, as he proved again yesterday against the Florida Marlins. Soriano came up in the bottom of the eighth inning with guys on second and third and the score tied 2-2. This was right after Jim Edmonds limped to second on a bad knee. Edmonds, who came up with two outs, could have stayed at first, but he wanted to eliminate the force play and get in scoring position -- i.e. he came through in the clutch.

Up steps Soriano, who promptly pops up to second base; once again proving that you can't count on him when you need a big hit. Why? Because he doesn't care about how the team does, only how he looks at the plate. Why settle for a measly base hit to the opposite field to drive in two runs when you can hit the long ball? At least that seems to be his approach to the game, considering his poor pitch selection, and the way he over swings at crucial points in the game.

Don't get me wrong. Soriano isn't the only culprit on the Cubs. It seems everyone on the team, including Kosuke Fukodome, are doing the same thing. They were winning early in the year because they were patient at the plate, worked the count and drove starting pitchers out of the game early. Now, their tendencies to play for themselves and to hit for the fences every time up at the plate are returning, and they are starting to lose again. If they don't turn it around soon and start playing for each other, they'll not only fall behind the Brewers but the Cardinals as well, and the 100 year championship drought will continue.

Now, if we could only suit up the real Fonzi the next time the Cubs have bases loaded with nobody out, we might have a chance to score-u-mundo. Heeeeyyyyyyy!!

RoadRage