Thanks, Republicans! You Have Officially Fucked Up My Country

Dear Republicans,

Smails here. Just dropping a quick note to say thank you for officially fucking up my country. In an effort to "restore integrity to the White House," you installed your "good man" to take a country with a trillion dollar surplus, a stable economy and good standing in the world, who in turn has decimated the national budget, driven huge divides between us and the rest of the free world, and lied to get us into an unnecessary, illegal war which has resulted in the deaths of thousands, lifelong injuries to tens of thousands, weakened the middle east, helped the bottom lines of his buddies' companies and left my kid's generation to foot the bill.

Thanks, Republicans.

Things were just fine and dandy like sour candy. Sure, we had a president who got a hummer from some chubby page, which, egads, was a terror! How could we as a nation stand for that? Because we are a sinking ship of double standards. We are a nation of Gladys Kravitzes, with at least 49% of us just getting the absolute willies about what happens behind people's closed doors. But hey, you slap a Republican tag on some idiot and he should be the leader of the free world, because he is "a good man."

As much as you may have hated Clinton because he took the presidency and righted the sinking ship left by President Monkey's father, the answer was not Bush. But as long as someone tells you they are born again and throws the God factor at you, you can all forget about the copious amounts of blow he shoved up his nose, companies he ran into the ground and military service he was able to dodge. And when he completely fucks up in his first term in office, you still reelect him. Why? Because John Kerry may have not been straight about what he did with his dog tags from Vietnam. At least HE WENT TO VIETNAM, instead of getting flying duty over Texas because of his daddy's connections.

But hey, it's all good, right? We'll have a democrat come in and fix all your shit again, while the Rush Limbaughs and Bill O'Reillys of the world contaminate the airwaves with preposterous lies and Bush gets paid tens of thousands of dollars to speak at your events, all for doing nothing more than being born a rich kid with the last name of another president.

Thanks, Republicans. You have officially fucked up my country.

Kind regards,

Judge Elihu Smails