Abe Lincoln Must Be Spinning in His Unmarked, Hidden Grave

While on a jog through the Capitol Mall in Washington recently, Smails's path took him by some of the most beautiful monuments and sites in the country. The Capitol, the Smithsonian buildings, the Washington Monument, the Korean War and World War II Memorials, The Wall, and The Sespool?

That's right, I said The Sespool. What was once known as the Reflecting Pool and even was waded through by Jenny and Forrest Gump in the film Forrest Gump has turned into the District's stepchild. While trying to maneuver through the attack geese and dodging all the goose shit on the ground, if you look to the pool, you will notice it has turned to a green goo. Making matters worse, I saw an empty beer can, beer bottles, food wrappers and even an orange traffic cone.

If this was a one-time occurrence, I would just be mad and think that maybe it really gets that dirty once a week or month, but I was in D.C. a year ago and the pool looked the same.

How is it that no one has filed a complaint card or made mention of this enough to get the National Parks Service to skim their pool? It's absolutely disgusting that in a stretch of some of one of the most spectacular views--looking down to the Capitol Building from the top of the Lincoln Memorial steps--is ruined by the square tar pit at the foot of the stairs.

Maybe there is a dead duck stuck in one of the filtration units, or perhaps the pool boy was busy schtooping one of the Bush twins, but none the matter, it's time to fix the problem. This is our nation's capitol and supposedly one of the most respected grounds there, dedicated to possibly our best president. Give him something respectable to gaze upon.

Hm? Hm? Alright!