Hey Dumbass, You're Not Michael Phelps!

I guess it was inevitable. Michael Phelps' record-setting Olympic appearance has spawned a bunch of Michael Phelps wannabes.

I have been swimming regularly for about a year now to stay in shape and to build up my endurance for my running habit. I suck at swimming, and no matter how much I do it, I'll never get better -- but that's alright, I'm not going to be swimming in London in 2012. Unfortunately, others aspiring people are starting to train now.

Case in point: I went swimming earlier this week at my gym, affectionately called the Third World Gym for its deplorable upkeep, and as I was wrapping up my half hour swim, in comes a guy whose flight from Beijing apparently just landed at O'Hare. Out of shape, he was wearing Speedo shorts, a Speedo head cap, goggles, a nose plug and ear plugs. I get out of the pool with my running shorts on, and no other high-tech swimming gadgetry, and the guy looks at me, and gives me a look like I'm a single-A player suiting up for a game with the Yankees.

Give me a break. If this guy is so great, why is he swimming at my Third World Gym? And, even if he is a good swimmer, why look down at others who are trying to improve themselves? People like this make me sick.

Hey buddy, next time you want to take a dip, why don't you get an Olympic size pool built in your back yard and swim there, so you don't have to deal with mere mortals like myself ... you prick!

RoadRage