Believe it or not, I am an avid fan of the People Suck blog. I think it's the Smurfiest thing on the Internet. RoadRage and his Smurfy cohorts really struck a chord with me, because like them, I think people Smurf.I guess since I'm a Smurf and not a human, you can call me a racist ... well go ahead. I'm Smurfing mad, and I'm not going to Smurf it any more!
I actually only really know one human and he's a real mother Smurfin' Smurf hole. I don't know if you have heard of this Smurf clown, Gargamel, but he and his cat Azrael just live to ruin Smurfs' lives.
It seems like every week, we Smurfs are trying to escape some hair-brained scheme he sets up to trap us. Who the Smurf knows what he's going to do to us if he ever catches us, but I fear for little Smurfette. I mean, think about it ... here's a guy who lives by himself in the forest with his cat. Who knows? Maybe I should worry more about Brainy or Hefty Smurf.
For the past 50 years or so, we have had to put up with Gargamel, and every once in a while we get to turn the tables on him. Unfortunately, our masters Hannah and Barbera won't let us kill him when we have him in our tiny blue grasps.
Well, Hanna and Barbera can go to Smurf! The next time I cross paths with Gargamel, he's going home in a body bag. I'm going to Smurf his Smurfin' tongue out of his Smurf and Smurf it up his Smurf. Then I'm going to take a Smurf and Smurf him in the Smurf, just so I can hear him Smurf before he Smurfs.
Papa Smurf
1 comment:
We need t make sure this Gargamel doesn't live within 500 feet of bus stops or parks and that he can't run a polling place.
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