Oh Wil Wheaton, Why dost thou sucketh so?

Why does Wil Wheaton's suckiness keep coming back to haunt me. First I saw him in the miserably-overrated Stand by Me, in which his lack of acting talent ruined a half-decent film; then I had to watch him butcher scenes for five long seasons on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Having thought that I could finally move on to a Wil Wheaton-less life, I was pulled back in to his web of suckiness today.

I sent a friend of mine a link to the People Suck blog, and she reciprocated, sending me the link to hers. I was reading her latest posts. It's a pretty entertaining blog, but then I noticed on the right hand side of her page a frickin' picture of Wil Wheaton. I asked her about it, thinking that someone had plagued her site with the latest Wil Wheaton virus, but she actually put it up there herself. Then she tells me that Mr. Wheaton actually has a blog of his own. His opening quote on the blog: "Don't be a dick." Sorry Wil, but you bring the worst out of me.

I guess I snapped when I saw his blog post praising his own acting on Stand by Me. Granted, some people think he did a bang-up job in that movie, but who goes on the web to praise their own work. I guess my next post will be on how great this blog is. Here's a taste of what's to come:

"RoadRage, this is one great Blog. It's so creative and witty, I can't imagine a more entertaining blog."

"Gee, thanks RoadRage. I appreciate it."

"No problem, RoadRage."

Nah, I think I'll skip that post.

On top of that egotistical post, I also found out that Wil Wheaton is an author, so he's now polluting our bookstores. His book, The Happiest Days of Our Lives, is a self-professed tale of him growing up as a geek. I can think of at least five better titles for a Wil Wheaton novella:

1. Coming out of the Closet in Space

2. How to be Loved on Every Planet with Humanoid Life, Except Earth

3. The Power of One ... to Annoy the Shit out of Everyone Else

4. I was Great in Stand By Me, and Other Self-Observations by Wil Wheaton

5. Lord of the Geeks: How a Ten Year Film and TV Career Almost Got me Laid

Now that I have that out of my system, I'm going to try to pursue my Wheaton-less life once again.