Stop You If You've Said This One Before

Have you ever met one of those people who thinks they are the life of the party and the funniest guy around? And at every social function, they pull out their same routine—one that just isn’t at all funny?

This guy I once knew through a friend used to tell a story or two about the same friend of his, each time doing his “awesome” impersonation of the guy. Each time he would start the story with, “You know how ‘Mark’ talks, right?” And each time, I would say, “Yes,” hoping this passive escape attempt would prevent him from going into the stupid impersonation all over again, but it just wasn’t enough.

He would tell the same story and do the same stupid impersonation to laughs from his chick and her friend and that was it, so I guess he thought that audience was how everyone else felt and that the rest of us were laughing on the inside.

News break. We were dying on the inside.

I don’t understand why completely unfunny people don’t realize they are not funny when they tell a joke or make what they think is funny commentary, to deadpan responses. I could point to it being a Mike Meyers condition of some sort, but the only reason he even gets movies made is because of morons like this who will pay to see them—and then do their impersonations of his characters for all to enjoy.

Aspiring comedians, political talking heads and impersonators, listen up. If your shtick only gets favorable replies from your chick or your mother, while making the skin of the rest of us crawl, keep your routines for just your chick and your mom and spare us. Please.

As Henny Youngman would say, “You have a ready wit. Let me know when it’s ready.”